Jake Chambers' real father, and his Network, would be proud of the new Dark Tower movie. It shoots for the lowest common denominator and the highest possible audience without considerations for the Constant Readers of the last 40 years. If you are a reader of the Dark Tower series, do not watch this movie. It's not even that the film is terrible, it is simply “meh”. This film is pretty much a standard Hollywood film. It is mainstreamed and fairly average. The characters are borrowed from a highly regarded series, which guarantees a widely acclaimed and anticipated release, but the film itself falls very short of the classic that it could have been.

Some have said that this film is a sequel to the books. Even if this is so, the film completely disregards the emotion and mixed-genre of this epic tale. Changes could have been made but they could have done so in a manner that honoured The Dark Tower and its fans, but it did not. It dropped plot and character development for ease and appeal to the biggest possible audience. This movie did not honour the story it came from. 

It is almost as if the creators of The Dark Tower all gathered in a room and discussed how to remove all the aspects that make the Gunslinger such a profound read. In fact, I think that this what they did when they discussed mainstreaming, which has apparently been an issue in the production of this film. An issue that I would argue was unnecessary. The Dark Tower has a following that has been gathering for four decades. It did not lack for fans. In addition to this, the depth of characters and genre combinations could have combined to create a classic very much in the vein of Blade Runner, Mad Max or John Wick, but fell flat on its face, although I'm sure it will be a success in its blandness.

Roland of Gilead is a gunslinger. A kind of knight with guns. Killing and gun play come second nature to Roland, but is largely lost to the special effects focus of a major Hollywood film. Rolands shooting and reloading is described as: “The guns were empty and they boiled at him, transmogrified into an Eye and a Hand, and he stood, screaming and reloading, his mind far away and absent, letting his hands do their reloading trick.” 

John Wick is an example of how gun play can be used to further plot, establish character and cement the feel and texture of a film. In the above clip, John Wick defends his home as it is invaded. The things this small clip include that The Dark Tower does not come down to lighting (or the use or lack of colour), editing and music. How a Director decides to light or colour a film defines it's character. As a mainstream, standard Hollywood film, The Dark Tower contains no interesting lighting, it is basic and standard for what you expect: Desert is bright, bad guys lair is dark. John Wick, however cleverly uses shadow and light to direct attention and emphasize character properties. John Wick is a dark character, and rarely seen in anything other than black. But he is displayed against a white background. This isn't just convenient for filming but also shows a type of higher moral ground in his killing. Roland is also a dark character, but this is not emphasized in any way, whether visually or through dialogue.

Roland's gun play emphasizes special effects: “look at this neat trick” it says. But that's all it is. In comparison, John Wick has a very Gunslingeresque scene that focuses on the efficiency and exactness of his shooting, something that should have been in The Dark Tower . The only reference to this in The Dark Tower movie is the scene where Roland focuses on listening and shoots through a shirt, plants and distance to kill Jake's kidnapper. This kind of thing doesn't happen in the books. Roland is ruthless, efficient and fast, but not supernatural.

Lines and shadows in the white background direct the eye

to John Wick. Camera is angled up to create an

 impression of power. 

John Wick chooses it's camera angles for effect. It often frames John with doors, windows or other lines. The camera alternately pushes in or is walked into by John Wick (see link above), showing his power and resolution. The Dark Tower, in contrast, does not use specific camera movements or angles artistically or to create a sense of the film. Rather they are used, again, to emphasize the special effects, not the plot. For example, the camera looks down at the Gunslinger as he shoots out glass then magically turned by Walter. 

Lastly, John Wick consistently uses sound, music and quiet throughout both films to emphasize rises and rests in action. In this clip, the music becomes more intense when all-out fighting ensues and quiets with rests such as reloading. This also leaves space for sound effects like loading and unloading to be heard. Notice how the fast, rocking music comes to a halt once john's assailent is dead. Very effective. The filmmakers of The Dark Tower give very little consideration to sound or music. They had an opportunity to define the auditory experience and create emotional and visceral reactions via sound, and they chose not to. Even the background music is boring, like a generalized score: “Action, that means fast: dramatic! Let's have some violins”. Yawn. The score and use of sound did nothing for The Dark Tower except emphasize its mundaneness. Standard, big budget Hollywood movie. Need I mention that "Hey, Jude" plays a role in The Gunslinger series? Even Velvet Fly? Come on guys! He set this one up for you! All you had to do was swing at the ball. 

The Dark Tower spent a lot of time explaining the world to the viewer, partly due to the many changes it made to the plot in an effort to squash the expectations of the Constant Reader. But we couldn't help but hope. After all, this is almost 40 years in coming. This over explaining just adds to the dreariness of the film. It brings two reactions: 1. Don't tell! Show me. Films are visual mediums. They should show more than tell and The Dark Tower does a lot of telling. 2. What?!? That's not what happened/it is/from the story!!! I was faceplaming the entire time. 

The film loses every aspect that made The Gunslinger such a compelling read. It loses the character arc of Roland from solitary to protector to pseudo-murderer. It loses the desperate nature of the search for Walter, and ultimately The Dark Tower. It loses the development of the relationship between The Boy and Roland, and the heartbreaking, and mind-breaking decision that is contingent on that relationship. Not to mention the plot that goes with it. In essence, The Dark Tower movie dropped all the significant plot themes and arcs of the books, choosing to focus on only those things they could drop in to appease fans: 19, the shining, snap shots of other books. And although these are significant and do appear in the books, they do not reflect the character arcs of the story, and so the heft of the series is lost. 

If you are a Constant Reader of The Dark Tower, do not see this movie. They dropped the ball on this one, so go then, there are other worlds than these. 

Wait for it to come out on Netflix, it's just not worth the disappointment. If you're looking for a your basic, run-of-the-mill Hollywood movie, then this ones for you! There are no surprises, lots of action and much over-explaining. All-in-all a typical movie-going experience, certainly nothing to to write home about.  

I give The Dark Tower movie a "meh" as far as movies in general. As a Constant Reader, I say "You have forgotten the face of your father, maggot"